Deal

Riffling pockets
Rapid scrolling text messages
Quick glances at email
Searching subject lines
For something incriminating

He has overstepped and
Strayed and betrayed and
Returned broken
And you want to keep
Him that way

Your “bad memories”
Keep him in line
But you didn’t know
About the daily emails
Innocent by our standards
But not by yours

I gave him up
And let him leave
Being unselfish
After so much selfishness
On one condition

I needed him in my life
In one way or another
My life would pour empty
Without him so I would take
His friendship as a token

I sowed the seeds of our friendship
In sandy soil
So many times neglected
But beautiful all the same

So I’d prefer you in the background
A constant reminder of my mistake
But I’d rather you not rifle his pockets
And reply to his text messages
Pretending to be him

Let me retain our friendship
Because I gave up
And quit and stopped flirting
And stopped showing up
Ready and willing with a smile

I gave up and encouraged him to go home