Friday, May 27, 2005

Belvedere Park

Your rain glistened face
Reflects the stars that light the dark
Clouds form around your mouth
Through Belvedere Park

Our hands laced and crisscrossed
Too careful on stepping-stones
Viscous words not slipping out
With this cold chilling our bones

Minds flicker flashing thoughts
Soak up the company of one another
Meandering through paper trails
Stifling silence we seek to smother

Is it enough, times so brief?
Is it enough, have we changed?
Is it enough, to keep us like this?
Is it enough, to float us over?

The light around your face
I can see what I will miss
Your grip on my fingers
So severe I feel this bliss

Kissing your neck feels warm
Frosty touches our last chance
Rain falls haphazardly around us
Plinking symphony in a trance

Good night my love but for now
May sleep come easy when it’s dark
2 Weeks till your return
Another rendezvous in Belvedere Park

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The Ex

Figures I’d find you here tonight
Parked outside
Head in your hands
Till I pass by

That feeling between my toes
Has now reached my stomach
And I don’t see this going
Anywhere good

Pull at me, push me,
I’m so beyond this
I’m numb
I’m smarter than you are

You’re gripping the wheel like
It was my neck
And I keep walking
I’m not stopping

I’m sure I’ll see you driving
Past my house
Later anyways
As always

It’s too bad
it turned out this
I may accept some blame
But now

I’m so beyond this


So sudden and quick
Like a hurricane
You were blown in
And out of my life
In such a brief span
Extreme and exuberant
Passion so motivated
By music
I didn’t have time to
That beauty that surrounded
you while on stage
left me stunned
and an unwilling groupie
It seemed I couldn’t think
Of anything else
All excuses were for you
You made me scared
But it turned me on
And I think your words
Undressed me faster
Than your fingers ever could
But as fast as I was in your arms
This was quicker to end
I was excited to
Feel this way again.

The Change

I can’t believe you are so far away
Feels just like I saw you today
I can’t believe how far you’ve strayed
When I left you in the same shape as me

When I see you next will you hold me tight
And tell me to shut off the light
So I can hear you breathe and feel alright
And believe everything will be ok again

But I don’t think it will end like this
My stories never end in bliss
Or a movie star fashion kiss
I’m so used to walking home alone

You are too much like a stranger to me
Where we went wrong, it’s hard to see
After the fire we are only left with debris
And I am left cleaning up the mess

I don’t think things will ever change
Our friendship was one we had to rearrange
Everything was perfect but now it’s all strange
And I wish things were like they used to be

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Never Had

You brutalize my confidence
while I am sinking into the floor
creepy crawling past so you won’t see
underneath you sly comments
but meanwhile always
perched at the corners of your eye
While I’ve seen you naked,
I’ve seen you much clearly now
pro’s, con’s and all that stuff
maybe it wasn’t so cool
as I wanted it to be
or maybe I came up a bit short
I thought it could be so much more
I keep slipping past you all day long
trying to avoid awkward situations
or your loud voice booming,
trying to be one of the boys
when you aren’t fooling me at all
You make me want to jump
up and down to make you notice me
the way you did that night
I almost fell apart it was amazing
You are much younger and maybe
I can chalk it up to that
feel better
and less rejected
and not so cheated out of
something I never had

In love and in Whistler

1 year ago today
we were in love and in Whistler
and at that moment
I truly understood the
meaning of perfection
Even though my whole
Changed so dramatically
1 year ago today
we were in love and in Whistler
my how some things change
Some of the words you spoke to me
altered my whole life
and my whole vision of you
1 year ago
we were in love and in Whistler
and I never would have thought
we’d end up here
I think I lost my love in it’s woods
and my friendship in it’s ocean
and all my trust up on that mountain
We’d have to go back there to ever
get it back again

Wednesday Night Car Ride

You are looking at me
Anticipating my thoughts
As if to catch them

You are there beside me
Afraid to touch me
and terrified to be nice

You are there but looking away
wishing you were somewhere else
far from here

You are kissing my face
fumbling with buttons
and pretending it’s not me

You are there whispering to me
in a cruel tone, dirty words
and I felt cemented in place

You are there holding me
and for a split second
it feels nice and un-fabricated

You are there but not really
and maybe I wish things were better
and far from this

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


Itchy hotel sheets
Twisting around my legs
Twinkling lights from the town
Lighting up this hotel room
I’m already in bed
It’s a quarter past 7
And tonight all alone
On our “holiday”
My only company is the CBC on
this small tv
You told me only a couple hours
of work and you’d be back
in time for a nice dinner
but the pizza guy has been long gone

I should have stayed in Whistler
Or better yet stayed away from you
I’m going to come clean and say
I didn’t know what I was getting into
I thought I was in love
But I was wrong about so many things

We’ll it’s 10 o’clock and I hear
The car key slip into the slot
I pretend to sleep
My silent guilt trip is lost on you
It’s our last night here
And I am suddenly awakened
And understanding the advice given to me
That I ignored all along

I should have stayed in Whistler
Or better yet stayed away from you
I’m going to come clean and say
I didn’t know what I was getting into
I thought I was in love
But I was wrong about so many things

Sweet Dreams

Sweet surrender
like into a dream
liquid vivid memories
flooding me
so intense
like it never went away
like i was never far
like this
tongue sailing over
my lips
quick breathing
soothing words
but so distant
words that lie sweetly
in my ears
almost incoherant
and with suddering
but i am so enraptured
how could i dare complain
terrified of the hold on me
my feet betray me
and slide backwards
unsure of my emotions
and power of my self-control
when all i want
is the the intimacy
that he and i built
so long ago
it almost doesn't feel

Monday, May 09, 2005

Sharing is nice

this is a new blog as a means to get out there a large selection of my poetry both new and old
please feel free to comment and etc. many of these poems have never seen the light of day (or been out of the bottom of my closet in a large rubbermaid container filled with tokens from my past lives)