Transparent

shoved aside
and expected to
move
as if they knew
my politeness would prevail
and my
self-consciousness
would come
out
for all to see

what would it take
to make them
open their eyes
and notice
that i was here all
along

i have earned
but never received
your respect
i have battled
and lost lots
suffered great
and still standing

and you are still
shoving past me
with no regard
or respect

is my beauty
non-existent
not up to par
that i don’t
measure up
and not
worthwhile

i wonder what it would
take for a simple
nice gesture

swamped

drained
to the point of
exhaustion
counting pennies
and hoping
the power
will stay on tonight

clutching our
lifeboat
crashing upon waves
amazed at how
we are still afloat

broke
in every sense of the
word
on cash, and promises
and favors

tearing at the root
of our foundation
of our relationship
and i hope
we can get over this
someday

Fierce Friendship

our fierce friendship
ignited rapidly,
and more powerful
than i had thought
i felt ever
before

binge hangouts
constant turmoil
with him
but not with us
recurring cries on
my shoulder
bleeding heart
crying wolf

you left at 10
august 7th
left my side
as if you had
done your duty
and left with him
and his tempered lies
once again

recalling the day
that guy you knew
hit you
repeatedly,
in the face, and i cried
and worried
and told my mom

you dropped all charges
and lied in court
for all the wrong reasons
and you stumbled and
stepped off
that pedestal
i put you on

consenting to his
intimidation
you went to that clinic
and i watched our friendship
die that day
and i couldn’t believe
it would end like this

it’s been months since
we have spoken
it’s too hard to
keep this friendship
together
i loved you too much
too see you change
from that to this

Grandma

Grandma

you are ready
but I am not ready
to let you go

your spark burned so bright
but now a bare flicker
intensity fading

you are ready
but I can’t imagine
my life without you

a mirror reflection
but I could only hope
to emulate you

you are ready
a life so long
but time together so brief

I’m angry that I can’t ask
for anymore time
together

you are ready
but we could never be
not for a million years

heartbreak, struggles
and sickness, you overcame
to replace it all with love and joy

you are ready
but you could never imagine
the mark you have left

humor and sarcasm
charming us all
and always left us always smiling